Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE The other day I glanced through Twitter messages and saw a Twit that put me in a sad, pensive, and still yet optimistic state. Two more Frag Dolls were leaving the Frag-fold. Several have gone on to prance in other gaming pastures, and I’ve felt the same sadness at their departures, but this particular one seemed to really set off an alarm inside me. Seppuku’s photo gallery of the Frag Dolls gaming days of yore, brought back some moments of great nostalgic, and albeit melancholy, joy. Roulette, the voluptuous red haired titan that leads the Frag Doll clan, titled her twitter something along the lines of Leaving Never Never Land. After looking at Seppuku’s photos I think it’s very appropriately titled and Seppuku’s beautifully written blog does a great job of conveying the message behind that title. Seven years ago, just as the idea of the Frag Dolls was most likely forming in the corporate halls of Ubisoft, when PMS Clan were still Psychotic Man Slayers and not Pandora’s Mighty Soldiers, our little site was creeping into existence as well. I applied to be a Frag Doll and didn’t make the cut but never once felt rejected or angry for not being chosen. I have a knack for falling in love with things I truly believe in and being a gamer has been no different in this respect. I jumped into this, both feet and whole heartedly and because of this, instead of anger at not being chosen, I felt such a sense of pride that someone was even taking notice of females as gamers. I’m proud to say that when my Frag sisters were unveiled to the world, I jumped into many a digital fray on message boards (including their own) and defending their honor (and my own). While many other women gamers were bashing Ubisoft for picking “pretty girls” to head up the Frag Dolls team, I went out to meet them. The first Frag Doll I met (aside from Valkerie, before she was a Doll) was Brookelyn. I wanted to see if I was defending what I thought I was defending –a bunch of girls who were kick ass gamers who just happened to be pretty as a side bar. Any doubts I had were put to bed that day as I watched a group of 12 or more men all yell out ‘Get the girl!’ and Brooke laid waste to every one of them with just a pistol and may I add..one clip…ok that was just gaming urban legend. But she did kill them all, standing in one spot, with just a pistol. I was in complete awe of her. Through it all she smiled and was warm and sweet. Not at all in keeping with what we think pretty girls are, let alone female gamers. I still have a photo of that day; of she and I both smiling into the camera not knowing what was coming. And WOW a lot came. There was more drama and tears and stalkers than I care to talk about in print. There are also so many more good times that I still giggle when I think about them. I’ve always kept my photos of ones that are dear to me personal. I know we live in an age of Facebook and My Space but putting them up there would somehow diminish the love I’ve grown to have for these women, these beautiful living Dolls who have forever changed the face of gaming. I normally keep these photos in the safest place possible (I’ll share one or two here) next to my heart (and backed up on disks and hard drives-I’m crazy, not stupid). I was not there for all of their moments, just as they were not there for all of mine, but the times we WERE together, were always some of happiest times of my life. I believe that all of us, Frags, PMS, Gameinatrix, Women Gamers, Game Girl Advance…and I could go on for days, have changed the face of gaming through a lot of digital blood, sweat, very real tears, and by finding a way to remain close in spite of our differences. There have been so many girls lost to tantrums and moving on to other places, but that’s what makes us stronger. I often have said that the day I’ll stop doing gaming media will be the day when there is a female gamer more famous and respected than Fata1ity (aka Jonathan Wendell) and gaming site as large as Gamespot, TRULY aimed at the female demographic and not just dressed up in pink clothing. So I will have to remain behind in this Never grow up land of gaming as a lot of my sisters move on. I wish them all well on the next leg of their journeys and hope they know the light is always on. Much like Peter Pan did, you can come back to Never Never Land. We’ll leave the batteries charged, the HDTV in pristine condition, and the controllers on the table. PS Pyra…still waiting for my guacamole. Hook a sista up!