When I was growing up, my mother was always very adamant that I learn to play “the game” and be good at it.The game entailed a lot of things. As a woman of color, I had to learn to sound what she called “non-threatening” or “white” when speaking to other people of non-color.Later I understood this to mean, drop the slang and speak with intelligence in the proper settings. Other parts of “the game” included learning the difference between being a slut when trying to get higher in the business food chain, and just using what mama gave ya.What this means is, yes it’s perfectly acceptable to use your feminine wiles, and wiles is not same as having sex, to get what you need so you can go where you want to go.

Surely being a woman in the gaming industry has a “game” to play as well.In no setting it is  acceptable to sleep your way to the top. Always maintain your integrity and always understand that though we try to deny that all women share a sisterhood, we all do.Don’t step on your sister or negate all that she’s worked for just to get where you want to go.Also always be willing to lend a hand to your sister.Sometimes it really is us against them.They play hardball, you play hard ball.All of this metaphorical speak will be made clear in a moment.

One of the things I’ve always striven for is not only to earn my own place in the world of gaming, but to also help my gaming sisters.This is a fine line to walk, especially when you have to question the integrity of said gamer sister.While there are several female sites and podcasts on the web that I feel extremely competitive with, I have always supported them because out of that competition comes my motivation to push a little harder. In short, it’s good for me and Gameinatrix/Gamer Girls Radio.But when I look at entities such as in the story we covered on Lunch w/Gingir and Cori, this morning, I cannot find a way to support them.I do not feel motivated by them. I feel as though everything I’ve worked for as a woman in the gaming industry is not respected and what’s worse, not respected by the very people I spend so much time fighting for.There are many of us as women who’ve managed to do amazing things in the industry without ever flashing a boob.We LOVE the gaming industry; we eat, breathe, and sleep it.We are the ones who are on XBL and PSN, taking the heat when these other purported boob flashing female gamers start services such as the one Pwnedbygirls.com started and then expect the rest of us somehow to support them.One could argue that we should support all women in the industry, but ever the extremist;  For me to support something that so blatantly goes against all that I’ve set out to achieve would be the same as me supporting a crack addict for smoking crack as an adult, because they were forced to as a child.At some point you have to be responsible for your actions. No, I’ll go you one better. You have to realize the repercussions of said actions and then take responsibility for the carnage you caused.You may have been forced to in the beginning but to continue on, means it’s your fault.Now I’m all for a woman in the sex industry making her money, but that has absolutely no place in some parts of the gaming industry. To create entities such as this one only serves to damage all that the rest of us worked so hard to achieve.  We may have never engaged in a site such as this one but sadly the male  mind only sees you when we walk into a room or play a game. In short, when I walk into a room full of male gamers, I'm judged by what you did. There is little we can do to change this perception, and it (the perception/stereotype, would not remain were it not for sites like these.

I dare say none of these women have experienced the rage of being told that a developer doesn’t want you on their team because you’re a woman (this happened to me personally and I will NEVER forget it).It is also argued often that women that speak out about these types of things aka feminists, are jealous, not attractive, and lacking self confidence.I can assure you, my tirade here comes from none of those places.I don’t feel jealous, I’m more than attractive and I’m bubbling over with confidence.This rant comes from a place of loving my small corner of the industry.We may not be Gamespot.com but at the end of the day, I like being able to walk up to someone whom I never expected to know who I am, and have them shake my hand and say they DO know who I am and they love the site.We then have a discussion about games, not the size of my bra.Yes, like every woman, I like to be perceived as beautiful and I am, but as I get older, I want more than that. Beauty fades and honestly to those ladies, seen one pair of boobs, seen them all.Next week someone younger and with bigger boobs will come along and take your spot. What will you have left behind as your legacy? How have you bettered the gaming industry and the female's place in it. Those of us who are trying to blaze a real trail will still be here, in the trenches fighting, yes even for you, to be able to game without prejudice.I said this on a radio show ages ago when Gameinatrix was still all fresh and brand new. “Gaming is the one place where women can equally compete.It requires no special physical strength to play or make a game.No height requirement, no special skin color.Girls who keep bringing back the sex issue into games, only serve to keep making the male gaming populace, view us as inferior. Casual gamers who only play The Sims. Just another pair of boobs.” If you want to do something amazing as a woman gamer, take a look at The Frag Dolls.Without ever showing a boob or a leg, they have legions of men who follow them around like little puppies. And they have managed to become brilliantly bright icons to up and coming generations of female gamers. The same of PMS Clan, Gaming Angels, Gunnar Girls , Lady Gamers and I could go on. But this is true beauty and this is true power. Not showing your boobs. There is nothing wrong with flirting, hell I’ve done it a few times to get past some PR person. But clearly there is a line here ladies.It’s right across your boobs.Either be a REAL gamer or GTFO.

/end rant

-G